Read as Dr. Breanna shares valuable insight into the flaws in the public education system, and how we can serve the "whole child" through homeschool.

I was a public school teacher for 13 years and can tell you firsthand that public educators are not properly equipped to serve every child in their classroom. Throw COVID into the mix and now there’s a myriad of issues! I’m pretty confident any teacher will tell you there’s much more to molding a young mind than benchmark scores and daily attendance, which is a huge focus for the public school system and qualifications for funding.

My stance? Focus needs to be placed on serving the “whole child”. However, year after year teachers’ resources are cut and district demands are greater, leaving teachers stranded without proper resources to serve their students’ needs. I vividly remember the day (years ago, pre-covid) I decided to call it quits, making a stance to never return! Yet, I did, less than a year later when my son started Kindergarten.

Our family made a big move to a new town and purchased a home close to a school that was described as “a public school with a private school feel”. We were hesitant, but given the reviews decided to enroll our son in Kindergarten! Although there was hesitation, we were swayed by the positive reviews and made the choice to go in with an open mind. We had high hopes and were full of excitement! Unfortunately, our Kindergarten year did not go as planned, in fact, it was filled with lots of frustration and tears.

Then 1st grade came! We had taken the summer to decompress, regroup and were ready for a new year! However, after a few months, it was pretty evident this year was not going to be much different. I was so discouraged, I prayed and prayed for God to give me wisdom and better understanding, different parenting strategies, different perspectives, and different ways of mothering. I felt so inadequate as a parent and desired to be different because I felt like I was failing my son. I just wanted the battle of school and home-life frustration to cease. Strong-willed kids! That was my thing, I was THE teacher that welcomed them into my classroom and made great strides! Why could I not give this to MY child? I was so discouraged and overwhelmed with feelings of failure, frustration, and anxiety. Also, like that wasn’t enough, I was in the middle of working toward Christian Coaching and Counseling degrees and felt as though I should have had the answers. But, I didn’t and as a result was riddled with grief. The truth is, the answers were right in front of me, but fear is a powerful thing and I could not see through the fog.

One day, while picking my daughter up from preschool (the preschool my son previously attended) I ran into the director and shared some of our story. It hit me like a ton of bricks! When my son was in preschool he was thriving. Then, we entered public school and I saw a decline in self-esteem and confidence and a rise in frustration, anger, and poor choices. What was the difference? Preschool provided small class sizes, which allowed attention to be placed on my son’s specific needs compared to his current school situation where he was competing for 1/25th of his teacher’s attention. The preschool design created space for my whole child to be served, which was immediately lost when we entered the public school system.

I had pondered alternative education, but at the time all of the charter schools were full or had extensive waitlists and private was so expensive! I kicked the thought of homeschooling around a few times, but was terrified it wouldn’t work and further damage my already strained relationship with my son. Then COVID happened! I decided to take the leap into homeschooling with the goal of trying it for one year and then reevaluating, giving myself an out if it didn’t work. We’re now in our 3rd year of homeschooling and it’s been a huge blessing!

Don’t let my excitement fool you, entering homeschool life was scary! People would say, “Oh, you’re a teacher, so I’m sure it will be easy!” Yes, in some ways this was true, but my mind was trained to perform within the restricted guidelines of the public school system, and the amount of freedom I felt was unnerving. It took several months of reminding myself to step outside the box before I actually stepped outside the box! Then, I had to remind myself not to step right into another box and instead use the freedom to our advantage. Needless to say, most of our first year of homeschooling was spent deschooling, retraining our minds and finding new perspectives. The deschooling process is a big part of your first few years of homeschooling, as it takes time to shed those old thought patterns.

Homeschool life has been filled with a lot of trial and error, but the affirmations we’ve received are clear and concrete. My relationship with my son has been completely transformed, not because I’m a superhero mom, but because his needs are being met. My biggest fear, in the beginning, was completely shattering our already strained relationship by never having a break from one another. (I say this with tears in my eyes). However, the togetherness of homeschooling made me press into the friction and figure out ways to further build and strengthen our relationship. He has shown great educational progress and I’m so proud of both of us! Our close friends and family have seen a unique shift in our family unit and more specifically in our mother-son relationship. The public school design was not serving my son’s needs, in fact, it was doing all of us a disservice! By no means are our days perfect, but they are filled with mutual respect, enriched and fun activities, lots of hugs, I love yous, and words that express his unwavering desire to continue!!!

Please hear me when I say this! YOU know what your child needs! Don’t stay in something that is not working, you have options! The public school system design works for some children, but it’s not designed to serve all children and it definitely does not serve the whole child. I can’t tell you how many times I found myself in meetings as a teacher with parents sitting across from me, broken-hearted because they didn’t know what to do. Every year was a struggle, every year was a fight, and every school year caused more strain on their personal relationship with their child.

Were they bad parents? Did they have bad kids? Did they have bad teachers? NO. They were placed in a system that didn’t serve them! Trust me when I say, you can do this!

Do you know who knows your child best? YOU!

You, my friend, were the passion behind The Marigold Moms! I kept hearing parents talk about how they’d like to homeschool, but didn’t feel equipped. Education is changing in a big way, and we’re here to equip you with the skills and resources needed to not only grow, but thrive! The Marigold Moms provides community meet ups, workshops, courses, and 1:1 coaching and consulting to serve your personal needs.

Breanna Young - Founder of The Marigold Moms